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| ·Remembering Leslie Wermers. One year ago today. | 2009-11-02 20:10:50 | | ·Lyme disease patients mourn passing of well known doctor | 2009-07-01 04:00:00 | | ·All she lost: My sister's battle with Lyme disease | 2009-05-19 04:00:00 | | ·Laura Treanor, 19, Lyme disease not ruled as cause of death | 2009-05-07 04:00:00 | | ·Lila Star Smith Harms, 25, dies from complications of Lyme disease | 2009-05-05 04:00:00 | | ·Lyme Disease Patients Loses a Hero and Friend | 2008-11-16 19:57:38 | | ·Nancy L. (Scully) Strayer: March 20, 1946 - March 12, 2008 | 2008-04-12 04:00:00 | | ·Bite from tick on holiday led to death leap | 2008-04-11 06:49:39 | | ·Rugby great, Mike Gregory, loses his battle with Lyme disease | 2007-11-24 23:51:00 | | ·Missouri teen, 15, dies from Ehrlichiosis | 2007-09-04 04:00:00 | | ·Steven F. Wells, 45, dies after battle with Lyme disease and ALS | 2007-08-14 07:03:39 | | ·Bruno C. Malvezzi | 2007-07-31 21:06:47 | | ·In loving memory of Dr. Edward McNeil | 2007-07-24 19:45:00 | | ·Lyme disease is a growing problem, Britteny Gallgher, Kansas City, MO | 2007-05-24 04:10:00 | | ·Lyme Disease Skyrockets In Maryland | 2007-05-23 04:00:00 | | ·C. Peter Thomas, 46; Sound Engineer | 2007-05-21 04:00:00 | | ·Jimmy Duarte, gifted musician, charismatic islander, dies at 70 | 2007-05-17 15:12:03 | | ·Obituary: Lyme Disease Advocate Karen Johnson ''Rose'' Rose, 1947 - 2007 | 2007-04-30 22:50:17 | | ·BETH'S QUEST: Family crusades against Lyme disease | 2007-04-29 04:00:00 | | ·Tick kit distribution aimed at heading off Lyme disease | 2007-04-28 12:40:00 | | ·Letter to the Editor: In Memory of Lyme Advocate ''Rose'' | 2007-04-26 11:00:03 | | ·Lyme Advocate ''Rose'' Succumbs to Lyme Disease | 2007-04-19 18:25:19 | | ·Body of Missing Woman with Lyme Disease Found | 2007-04-14 21:46:32 | | ·Michael Coers won Pulitzer Prize | 2007-03-21 10:00:43 | | ·E STREETER IN LYME 'SUICIDE' | 2007-03-19 12:33:30 | | ·Lost to Lyme Lyme disease facts | 2007-03-19 04:00:00 | | ·Musician remembered as battler against Lyme disease | 2007-03-19 04:05:00 | | ·Maine Musician Bill Chinnock Dies | 2007-03-08 13:45:18 | | ·Obituary - Eric von Schmidt - Singer and painter was in Dylan's circle | 2007-02-27 11:00:00 | | ·JAMES P. KOCH | 2007-02-22 00:53:49 | | ·Andrew Spielman, 76, Expert on Insect-Borne Diseases, Dies | 2006-12-26 04:00:00 | | ·Martin Frank Dumke | 2006-11-29 04:00:00 | | ·Bill Reynolds: For QB Coen, tragedy lies beneath the surface | 2006-10-29 04:05:00 | | ·Coen plays on without No. 1 fan | 2006-10-17 04:00:00 | | ·Librarian was dedicated to students, family | 2006-09-19 17:02:58 | | ·TORMENT OF BRAIN BUG PROF - Alasdair Crockett | 2006-09-19 13:43:35 | | ·Widow of Lyme disease victim appeals for help | 2006-09-18 22:44:57 | | ·Professor commits suicide after catching dementia from tick bite | 2006-09-17 22:17:12 | | ·Tick talk: Family blames member's death on tickborne illness | 2006-08-21 04:00:00 | | ·Death of York PA area doctor due to Lyme and ALS | 2006-04-29 20:40:02 | | ·Emmy-winner Scott Brazil dies of ALS and Lyme disease at 50 | 2006-04-22 11:37:59 | | ·Kym Cooper- Dead Woman's Own Letter Tells Her Lyme Disease Story | 2006-02-05 14:08:53 | | ·Kym Cooper - Worn down by Lyme | 2006-01-22 01:56:26 | | ·Kym Cooper, 1968-2006, After long battle with Lyme disease | 2006-01-19 13:51:02 | | ·Tribe leader Francis mourned | 2006-01-14 18:22:58 | | ·Easton mourns former selectman after fatal accident | 2005-12-17 13:04:17 | | ·Educator, union leader dies from complications of Lyme disease | 2005-12-08 09:25:32 | | ·'A TERRIBLE WAY TO GO' | 2005-10-22 14:39:56 | | ·Leo Bogart, R.I.P. (1921-2005) | 2005-10-21 15:55:28 | | ·Leo Bogart, 84, Sociologist Who Studied Role of Media in Culture, Is Dead | 2005-10-21 15:46:44 | | ·Passages: Pat Pepper | 2005-10-10 01:11:11 | | ·Man loses battle with Lyme disease | 2005-10-09 10:37:43 |
[ Read Obituaries ] | |
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Pulling myself out of the slump Posted on: 07-18-2010 @ 04:26 pm |
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In the past I have been able to pull myself out of the slump by focusing on the things to be thankful for in my life.
And/or a far distant hope such as workmen's comp getting approved and getting the health care needed to get well.
Or moving to the San Diego area closer to the LLMD that takes medicaid.
Or getting a vehicle to transport my power chair.
Or being able to be well enough to enjoy my grandkids.
Or figuring out a way to earn an income that works around this condition so I could pay for medical needs.
But, this constant pressure in my head seems to be over powering all of the above and causing me to think this is it. If so, is it really worth living like this?
I don't have what it takes to take my life. But, I wonder about it at times.
For now, I am just going to take two more excedrin to see if that helps with the pressure in my brain. I hope it does. Too hot out to be out doors which usually helps me.
Although, I might consider just getting in the car and making the mile loop on the outskirts of town with the air conditioning on. The sound of the fans is a big problem though while driving or any other time for that matter.
it was 100 degrees when I took Rosie out to toilet yesterday afternoon.
I guess I need hope again. A miracle.
ON the other hand, I was able to wash a few dishes yesterday and able to wash a set of sheets and Rosie's cover for her dog bed this morning. Both are being dried indoors and most likely are dry by now.
I would like to figure out why the printer will not even come on. Very strange.
I also would like to be able to figure out how to download the pics from the digital camera a friend got me.
i am thankful for that camera. Taking pics is one of the few things I can do although with the new camera I find I can't always see what I am taking a picture of unlike the old advantix camera I had.
And the shutter is not as fast. Took a pic of my friends dog facing her and by the time the shutter clicked the dog was facing the other way. Dog is slow moving too...an old dog.
Maybe this wanting to end things is just a way of wanting some kind of control over ones life. Weird solution. A permanent solution to a hopefully temperary problem. Or is it?
I wonder when I will get that article I read out of my mind about the couple who commited what looked like a murder suicide act including their dog.
they left notes. I wonder what the notes said. They had been living with lyme a long time and had tried seeking help over and over.
going to go see if I can find the article again. Then the excedrin. Then the car ride maybe. then maybe keeping this blog more frequently again to help me keep in touch with myself and others.
Testing first to see if the edit key works. Hoping I recall what I was going to write in between testing the edit and writing.
Good it works. I did reread the article about the couple who died. I read it from the back forward this time. I was glad I went back and read it. Hoping it will no longer be on my mind but am sure that it will pop in again.
After I wrote this blog, I realized that one thing that was getting to me is that I need to go to the dentist and don't think I have the funds. Not even sure where to start....talk to the dentist office in town...if so which one...
I have been keeping liquids and food on the right side of my mouth as I have pain when I use the other side. Thankful it is not hurting when I don't have anything in my mouth.
I have heard that medicaid will not pay a dentist bill unless it is do to an accident.
I have not been to the dentist in over 10 years. So, the issue is coming up with the funds to see a dentist and which dentist to make an appointment with. I will ask about where I stand with insurance. I am hoping the dentist office will be able to tell me. As I know from talking to whoever answers the phone with the insurance company is usually some new person who will make up an answer as she goes along and not be helpful.
Guess it wouldn't hurt to call and ask anyway. I was hoping this pain thing would go away. But, it has been 3 weeks now and has not gone away.
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Last updated on 07-18-2010 @ 06:39 pm
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Comment By: lymielizzie (Posted on 07-18-2010 @ 07:00 pm)
Comment: One day at a time love! One moment actually in our case....hang in there.
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Comment By: KAM (Posted on 07-19-2010 @ 03:27 pm)
Comment: I later had the same thought. Just deal with what is in front of me and what I can do.
I get down so easily lately. took Rosie out to the rodeo grounds. She ran while I drove around the rodeo grounds.
Couldn't find her working vest and became concerned that I will not find it and need to purchase a new one. don't have the funds for that so hoping I will find it.
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Comment By: lymielizzie (Posted on 07-19-2010 @ 04:17 pm)
Comment: Yes K a good time to remember the Serenity Prayer. I need it today as well! :-(
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
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Comment By: KAM (Posted on 07-25-2010 @ 11:02 am)
Comment: First time I have read the rest of that prayer. thanks! |
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